


I ascend by the noose

by aMAXiMINalist



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Gen, Poetry, Tragedy, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aMAXiMINalist/pseuds/aMAXiMINalist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren, though lingering in the liminal realm between Light and Dark, knows what he chose and tells himself he chose well. His soul struggles to fly away from the blinding abyss of Light. An anthology of poems that define his fractured consciousness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also featured on Fanfiction.net (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11686965/1/I-ascend-by-the-noose). 
> 
> Feedback is welcomed.

**I ascend by the Dark spool**

the abyss dangles me over Lght

Mother, oh Mother

curse your surveillance

through the fossilized phantasmal umbilical cord

you guessed right

that your Ben Solo still lurks

he's the sleeping weight in my dog-tooth heart

even at the collapse of Han Solo

Father, Father,

you are your own weight

you chose Down

the Force yanks me both way

I chose Up

toward the Constellations of Grandfather

because Up should have stars and suns

that won't blind me

extend your hand toward me

Grandfather,

I feel your phantom metallic hands

lifting me up

but Down still yanks me

toward the blinding Light

my mask can't obscure the Light

but no delays, Grandfather,

I'll be a constellation at your side

no more postponing the ascension.

Father choose his abyss

as I drift in limbo

I'm dangling from a noose

I'm ashamed to let slip

the tears into the abyss of Light

but let the Light evaporate my deficiencies

along with Father

whose heart shriveled in the Light

I'm ascending by the noose

the trick is to halt my lungs

someday, the deprivation of air

will never suffocate me again.


	2. Chapter 2

**the phantasmal umbilical cord**

Mama, so I once called you

Dad tumbles into the chasm of Light,

I hope the Light leaves a pit

in your heart

Ah, but the intangible blood

shoots me memories against my will

your glaring visage of wear-and-tear

weaponized against the post-mortem Empire

your smiles are the worse

the flicker on the candle wick that cast shadow

on your vain finger strokes.

You at least forsaken the fallacious lullabies,

"don't cry, don't cry, boy.

tears are only for mothers."

a promise I crushed in my fists

Forfeit those imagined mea culpas, Mama.


	3. I am the wisp of your pyre

**I am the wisp of your pyre**

hollowed of its skull

Master knows,

I do not deny your fabled "repentance"

the last-minute folly

induced by the emergency fatalism

of paternity.

I hate that Master forgives

and lightens the blow of punishment

I hate that Father tries to escort me

to the abyss of Light.

I hate that Mother still croons the lullabies

in her sleep

I credit her for revising the lullabies,

to "don't cry, boy,"

to "cry boy, cry as you need, boy."

I wish Master amplified the blows

because they think I'm soft

to require mercy.

I am the Second Coming of your legacy

they try to dose my rage

with cotton-softness

disarm my innate anger

with their shrunken wills.

I am your resurrection from your pyre.

I smell the burning metal and bones.

I am the residue of rust.

I forgive your misguided repentance.


End file.
